b bands

Basilisk

This Cornish band fear that because the tetonic plates are slowly tearing England's left leg off the mainland, they believe that in a few million years, they will be unable a get a bus to London. As most of the band members can only swim if the moon is playing Lamb of God, it could pose a bit of a problem.

Web Presence

MySpleen

The Belonging

When it comes to wool, these boys certainly know their stuff. Only last week, Knitting Gazette anounced yet another set of evil knitting patterns will be launched later this year.

It's not only woolly jumbers, cardidans and scarves that The Belonging can knit oh no their talent with sheeps coat know no bounds.

John Bennett, the drummer in the doom band The Prophecy was so happy with his woollen drum kit the boys had done, he told the Axis of Perdition drummer about it and he wants one now.

Web Presence

Main Site

Bison

John, Anthony, Paul and David all have a dream. Their magnificent dream is for Widnes to hold the international corpse eating competition. Madrid won it last year. A three week old body of an 82 year old granny consumed in only 43 seconds. Amazing.

Web Presence

My Corpse

Bladvar

These guys hail from the old norse town of Tameside where even today, the viking legend can be found.
Every Sunday, the traditional chant of 'Letsfuckoffintothecentre' can be heard echoing around the area then before you can say the word 'bling' Hundreds of norsechavs appear and rush towards the nearest MaccyD's in their Burberry longboats.

Apparently the Extreme Metal Society of Britain (EMSB) has asked parliment for hunting permits in order to destroy this vile pest.

Web Presence

My Spanner

Black Sweat

IN THE BEGINNING THERE WERE 4 MASTERS OF THE HOG, AND ONE MASTER OF THE SQUID. THE FOUR REAPERS OF THE SEVENETH MOON OF VEGAS LOOKED DOWN UPON THE MASTERS AND BANISHED THEM TO EARTH. THEY WOULD SERVE THEIR DUTY HERE. AND SOME DAY BY CHANCE, ONE WILL BECOME THE 5TH REAPER. SO I CALL ALL CHILDREN OF THE CORN TO STAND UP! SQUIDMASTER HAS BEEN SENT TO ROCK. THERE IS STILL THE SAND OF THE HOURGLASS TO CONTEND WITH, YE GOAT LORDS ALIKE. STEADFAST IN THE POWER OF THE ZORBA KING, AND BRING THE HOLY DESERT TO THE FEAST, FOR THE GOAT LORD LEVIATHAN WILL BE REWARDED ON THE SIXTH DAY. OPTIMUS PRIME LOOKED DOWN ON THE HARPIE KINGDOM, AND CURSED THE SACRED BOG OF THE DAMNED.

Lifted from their MySpace site.

(I didn't feel the need to write my own profile after reading that)

Web Presence

My Space

Blood Retch

These lads hail from the wonderful town of Basingstoke, home of this server and famous for it's 7 tonne stone penis.

"How did we get here?" he asked, shivering slightly.
"We hitched a lift," said Ford.
"Excuse me?" said Arthur. "Are you trying to tell me that we just stuck out our thumbs and some green bug-eyed monster stuck his head out and said, Hi fellas, hop right in. I can take you as far as the Basingstoke roundabout?"

If you can't see the trees, then don't buy a blue car.

Web Presence

My Spoons

Main Site

Bloodstream

Did you know that these Bradford metallers once played on the moon?

Tuesday, March 19, 2002
BloodStream play on the moon
Bloodstream, The extreme metal band from bradford, finally realised their dream ambition yesterday and became the first band to get a gig on the moon. John Hanslip, the guitarist said, 'It was probably the best gig we ever played. The crowd loved us' The crowd consisted of six Clangers, the soup dragon and a team of Russian cosmonauts. Asked how they got up there, they replied, 'Oh that was easy. We simply attached springs to our feet and used a series of 30 ramps, each one getting steadily higher, as for breathing on the moon, all the band had their own fishbowls and we used an electric bellows attached to our amps' It was revealed that the only band member who wasn't happy was Steve the drummer, apparently Major Clanger approached him after the set and said' You were great Mr Mcbrain and can you please sign this Powerslave album of mine?'

Web Presence

Main Site

My Space

Blood Vigil

This five piece Manchester metal band are the only band in the north west who actually eat the left hands of their audience after they have played a gig. They do of course offer a wooden spoon as a viable hand replacement, it does make it easier to stop the people who have been to one of their gigs.

They tell the local press that they do not wish to be labelled as limb masticaters as it makes them sound a little strange.

They tell the their mothers not to make them anything to eat before they gig

Web Presence

WoodenSpoon

Bloodwork

This London band have made many enemies in their goal to be the redist icon on the planet. So far...
- A fire engine called Greg has sent out twelve red nijas to sort them out.
-The middle bit from a Jammie Dodger tried to burn one of their EPs but melted in the heat.
-A hotel from a monopoly set attempted to hack into their myspace account and change all their names to 'My little pony'

The bands mottos are 'Be happy or we'll kill you' and 'Choose a different colour'

Web Presence

My Spade

Main Site

Burn the Victim

This five piece band from West Yorkshire used to be a ten piece band but five of the members (Who were giraffes) left the band because of musical difficulties.

Gerald the giraffe really did not like Children of Bodem so he decided to leace the band and take his giraffe brothers with him.

The remaining lads couldn't really give a shit to be honest as now they good get on with being a proper band.

Web Presence

My Spindle

Burial

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I couldn't really think of anything to say about this Black Metal band from Manchester so I just pasted their bio from the main site here instead.