Echovirus - Brighton - East Sussex If you look up this bands name in the dictionary, you might read the following: An old car-park in Milan where If any cars enter the place whilst listening to rap or drum and bass, their vehicle will explode. |
Element 106 - Aberdeen - Scotland I was going to write a NORMAL prrofile about this band, but their 'About' is still under construction...so, I'll guess. This for piece band suffers from one major problem, They all live in different counties, when they practice or gig, they have taken the unusual step of using old bean tins and very long string. This approach to giging worked very well until the string attaching Gel (playing in New York) to Hog (playing in Berlin) accidently garroted a ship captain on a pleasure cruise in the atlantic |
Embolism - Glasgow - Scotland The members of this band first met at school when they all denounced Santa Claws and subequently ended up getting hung upside down from the branches of the school punishment tree and getting twatted on the elbows with the cane. (Schools in Scotland take punishment very seriously) This experience bonded the lads and since then they have become the most brutal band in their street. For some reason, their school was torched a week after they left and the headmaster accidently killed himself by inserting his own punishment cane up his arse until it came out of his mouth, the police are puzzled how he did this considering he had tied his hands behind his back at the time. |
Entrails - Weston Super mare - Somerset Having your face ripped off by wolves is not really what most people would class as nice but imagine having all your skin scraped off off by evil action men armed with very small cheesegraters. Now that is nasty. Evil acton men are nasty, not only do they listwen to Entrails, they arse-rape barbies whom they have gagged and tortured first.
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Entropy - Livingston - Scotland From
the remnants of the now disbanded metal group, A Vanishing Art, comes
one of the most promising and interesting bands the Scottish Music
Scene has ever conceived. |
Eternal Defiance - Alton - Hampshire One day, in the pleasant land of Breen, a wandering carnival came to a nive little village called thumf. They set up their fairground just beyond the village boundary and beckoned the bemused locals to sample their wares. They came in their hundreds to see this new attraction. Everybody was enjoying themselves, people were having a good time. The local band, Eternal Defiance were the exception. They knew full well that the carnival was just a front for some evil and possibly gay corporation so they contacted Alton town council and ask for them to remove them, Alton town council told them to fuck off so the band infected the local water supply with bird flu. That will teach the fuckers. |
Escape - Eastwood - Nottinghamshire This band has been through the equivelent of an industrial hair drier since it's conception in 2001. Three vocalists have been eaten by giant fleas, two drummers were kidnapped by an extremist terrorist faction in Canada and the guitarist has had a bad cold. It hasn't stopped the band from gigging in every dive on the planet, only last week they played in the infamous Grass Tavern, in Ulan Bator, Outer Mongolia to two old women, a dog and a dead horse.
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Esclavage - Leeds - West Yorkshire This northern historic city has seen many sights since it was found twenty two years ago, Who can forget the government sponsered launch of the rocket to Mars from the corn exchange containing ninety chavs or when the queen was found in the bus station pissed on cheap vodka. If you go to Leeds on a week day, you will see this band performing their latest song on the roof of the 72 bus. That is one sight you don't want to miss. |
Evisceration - Wolverhamton - West Midlands After leaving the local electric shaver dismantling factory, they all decided to form a band. Their peers were delighted at this idea and began to by the boys trombones and trumpets and violins. The lads didn't have the heart to tell them that they didn't mean THAT type of bands so they killed them, chopped them up and sold the partsd to a local cornish pasty factory. |
Evisceration - Huddersfield - West Yorkshire When this band from the textile town of Huddersfield found out that David Tennent was taking over as the new Doctor, they all travelled to the local village of Fartown the home of the ninja warrior and bought six. The ninjas were ordered to 'Take out' the producer of Doctor Who. When they arrived in Cardiff, the ninjas traked the producer down and took him to an Italian restaurant. |
Execution Chamber - Glasgow - Scotland This band like to be called eXc, they are P on v, K on d, D on b and S and S both play the g. The b want to take G by s and they will be playing their first g in J at the CG in G and we all wish them the best. |
Ex Infernis - Edinburgh - Scotland This band has made several claims to newspapers that they own the dark creatures of the night, all things that crawl, sliver, fly and burrow now belong to Ex Infernis. Is it true? Well
yes, that bought it as a complete package off Ebay last week for £2.65,
the ironic thing is that they actually bid for a pair of matching
green wellington boots and was send the dark creatures of the night
by mistake. |
Extreme Maggot Infestation - Sheffield - South yorks Our resident interviewer Dave, the baby seal tells me that he is scared of these guys, totally petrified. Whe I asked why, he said that Extreme Maggot Infestation have been culling AND eating baby seals for over twenty five years. Obviously, I was slightly concerned over this so I spiked Daves Brandy with Rohypnol and locked him in a small room with the band. Dave
doesn't speak much now, he just shivers a lot. |
